Emotions are to be Embraced
Yesterday was fathers day and the day before that my sister got married. It has been an eventful time this week to say the least. We’ve shed so many tears over the past few days.
The other night was my sisters wedding. She is two years younger than me, but she is like a big sister to me. I didn’t prepare a speech for her wedding night so I wasn’t going to speak. Our baby sis, 19 years old, had prepared a special speech, so I felt I was covered through her words. She can be heartfelt without breaking into tears, like I would. She spoke so eloquently and it was polished and funny.
One of my step brother insisted that my bro and I (immediate family) make a speech. We weren’t too thrilled about it. I felt totally unprepared and I know me, I always cry. In fact I was called the “cry-baby” of my family – not nice, I know! But it’s kinda true. My step bro really made a good point though, so we took his suggestion. We had to speak and say it from the heart. So my bro went first, made some jokes, and really said some loving things, and then it was my turn. I just let the tears flow and spoke. I was embarrassed and a little lost for words, but I was speaking from my heart; usually what happens when the tears are flowing. And, every one was tearing up with me – so I wasn’t alone.
Then later that evening my sister and father had a special dance. My sister, who doesn’t cry much was bawling through the whole dance. We haven’t been hugged by our parents (closely) since we were about 5 years old. It just wasn’t our culture to be affectionate like this. This has been something I’ve recognized for many years now. I moved out across the country by myself when I was 19, so I found the lack of physical affection to be one of the big areas of healing I needed. I love to hug and be hugged by my friends now. But my sis didn’t realize the impact of not being hugged by dad until now, she was very touched (no pun intended). She was grieving the loss and in gratitude for the dance that brought that back into her life. My dad, the master that he is, just sat and observed us crying and sharing about this. He’s such a yogi.
The next morning, we had a special breakfast with him on fathers day. I suggested we all take turns and say what we love about Dad, and/or what our favorite thing is about him. My sisters and brother were all annoyed by this, as they said we’ll just all be crying again, and they said it was easy for me to do. But the truth is it’s not easy for me, as I know I will cry, but I have learned to talk though the tears, and by now I am not ashamed (most of the time) of my emotions. So we all did. We spoke through the tears, and let the words, truth and love pour from our hearts to this wonderful man who has given us everything. Then, we asked him what advise he had for us. He told us to “stay loving with each other and be close. See each other often and enjoy.”
We have been crying so much on this trip together – all in good tears and love.
I believe these moments are to be shared and expressed to our loved ones. Why is it that we wait until death to express how we felt or what we loved about this person? Well, I’m not waiting for death. I feel this is real living, if we can just get real. Learning how to be in our hearts, our truth and speak with each other in this authentic way is what I lead others to do.
I was on SOUL FEED pod cast and shared some tools and techniques in the moment that you can do in your day right now to feel in alignment to your BIG mission: iTunes link: HERE
As I build the Enlightened Women ~ Leadership Program that begins this Sunday, June 28th, online – I am finding ways we can take more moments like this and cherish them. We are all leaders in our lives. I am definitely a leader in my family for creating heart-felt real convos. My sister is a leader in bringing us all together and keeping us close. My brother is a leader in lightening the mood. We all have our places of leadership. Family and friend circles are a microcosm for your life; What you do here, is what you bring into the macrocosm.
This is essentially what this Enlightened Women Leadership journey is all about: building your places of strength, so you can step confidently into the direction of you’re leadership self, for yourself and others. BRING IT!
I invite you to be part of this journey. It’s the first one I’m running on line (and for this price) and selecting a small group – it’s not for everyone. I’m only selecting an intimate group so we have more quality time together. We are creating a family. I invite you to be a part of it.