We’ve all had defining moments in our lives. These moments can heal and change us, but they can also dictate our lives for many years without our consent, and sometimes even without our knowledge.
My first day of high school was one of those pivotal moments. I was excited as any young girl is when she gets to be a big girl now and be in HS. It was a new school, some same friends, but so much bigger than my middle school, it was daunting. But I was happy to be there, cause I was “in high school” now and that meant something.
I had no idea that I was would be so devastated that day. Two things happened that day. One, I lost trust in humanity and two, I gained trust in humanity.
Picture this: Eight of us young girls sitting around a big table in the cafeteria, giggling and talking about the cute boys, classes, teachers and what we were excited about. We noticed a group of seniors looking at us and whispering to each other. We were thrilled by this as we loved the attention and we obviously “so cool” to be noticed.
Then…we couldn’t believe it, one of them started walking over to us. My heart started racing, I was wondering what he was going to do or say to us. And, I feel like this was happening in slow motion. I was thrilled but confused as to why he was coming over to me. I had not much experience with boys, and wasn’t really allowed to talk to them (I was brought up in a Sikh family, and I was encouraged to be modest and shy), and I was a bit awkward then and insecure to say the least. He bent down towards my ear, and whispered these words “You are the ugliest packie I have ever seen”. My heart was full of anxiety and I tried to hold it together, but the tears couldn’t be kept in. I ran out of the cafeteria with all my hopes and dreams crushed.
First of all I am Indian, and was so offended that this was mistake number one, and the other thing was that I knew it was meant to deeply hurt me, and that it did. At that moment, I decided something. Unconsciously, I decided that I was never going to trust any man.
Every one of us has had traumatic experiences and moments in time that we decided (unconsciously or consciously) to be a certain way; to not trust, to be aware, to be cautious, which means we are living in a contracted state of being.
All the healing, therapy, and work I’ve done on myself for 23 years has been the foundation of my work in the world today. So essentially, “The gift of my wound is my magic wand”. It’s true, we carry these things in our bodies, minds and spirits. And sometimes they haven’t moved into the point where they are gifts, maybe they are still burdens, dark memories, or shameful events.
I’m not saying that I don’t have pain when I remember this moment, in fact I was just tearing up writing it. But I am sharing these powerful stories to connect us with each other. I believe we all are wounded in our ways that we are, and we just haven’t been shown how to transform these into our “magic wands”.
By the words that the senior boy whispered into my ear, I was devastated, hurt more than I can even express, but later that day, one of the most popular girls in school had found out what he did to me, and pulled me aside and said she was so sorry and she befriended me from that point on. I really felt she was genuine with her care and compassion for humans.
I had hope in that same day. The hurt didn’t go away, but I got two very powerful lessons about life and the world in one day.
As I build the webinar, Enlightened Women ~ Leadership Program, I am weaving these techniques and exercises to move through and beyond the traumas into the true glowing, high-priestess, master of our life we are meant to be. Without drudging up the stories, as I just did here, cause we don’t need to. We can move the energy stuck in our bodies, minds, spirits into useable energy to be leaders in our lives. Let’s do it. Together.
This Enlightened Women ~ Leadership Program is for us women to be in community together. Globally.
In this video, I share with you one of the exercises we will use to loosen the wounds and start to feel the magic of them.